Futures I Might've Had Come Like A Breath From the Tomb

Here is a list of how I thought my life could've turned out, a life full of fun, prosperity, and self-enlightenment.

Age 3: I can live outdoors always with Winnie the Pooh except I'll always hang out with Tigger because he's cool and can bounce really high. He also takes care of Piglet, who let's face it would totally get picked on if Tigger wasn't around. My babysitter Harriet can make us snacks and knit us things when it gets cold.

Age 7: I will win a trip to hang out with the Spice Girls. Baby Spice will die tragically in a plat-form shoe accident. While we mourn her death, the other spices will discover that I have singing and dancing skills and I'll become the new Baby. Everyone will love me and that swing set in the tour bus will be MINE.

Age 11: I will grow up, learn to play an instrument, have cute short red hair which I'll wear butterfly barrettes in. I'll become famous somehow and those bitches that won't let me sit on the bus with them will rue the day. While I'm out being SUCCESSFUL and well-liked, even loved they might develop that condition where they loose all their hair or maybe their houses will become infested with rats and the rats will chew it off along with some limbs.

Age 15: I will go to college, a really lovely one full of trees and brick buildings built before 1940. I'll read lots of books and wear lots of flattering sweaters. There will be a boy also wearing a flattering sweater in the library reading On the Road who will look up and we'll lock eyes. He will be mesmerized by my intellect and quiet beauty, we will travel the world together.

None of these things happened, the Spice Girls broke up, Harriet retired to Florida, and that boy doesn't and will never exist. I do own a couple of sweaters, however.